Roll Out The White Carpet

Please imagine this. It could happen: “Sedgwick, it was lovely of the Emperor Penguin to roll out the white carpet especially for us.”
Sedgwick: “What do you expect, Alastair? It’s your wedding day!”
Alastair: “Fair enough. Tell me, does your suit feel a bit odd?”
Sedgwick: “Yes, mine feels strange. Have you got a problem with yours?”
Alastair: “I think that suit hire joint gave us the wrong suits.”
Sedgwick: “Bastard, why do you think that?”
Alastair: “Because mine keeps riding up the crack of my bum.”
Sedgwick: “Oh that’s nasty – so does mine. Bugger, what will we do?”
Alastair: “Let’s strip off before we get to the churchberg.”
Sedgwick: “But Alastair, what in the hell are we going to wear?”
Alastair: “We’ll go in our birthday suits. Nobody will notice.”
Sedgwick: “That’s fair enough, but what will happen down below when the minister tells you to kiss the bride?”
Alastair: “Bloody hell, Sedgwick, you and your one-track mind. One day I’m going to whack you over the head with a wet fish.”dsc_5939-1

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