This is MICK BARNES, my friend, and a mate to hundreds of writers, journalists and photographers – in fact a mate to all and sundry. I had lunch with Mick and his son Peter Barnes (a paparazzi) at a pub a few days ago on the Gold Coast. We had bangers, mash, gravy and vegetables. When I asked Mick to smile while I snapped his picture, he told me he didn’t smile. But I made him smile. Easy. Mick is a playwright, a newspaper journalist and among other things, a television scriptwriter, columnist and theatre critic. He is 80 – and even though he had a preemptive wake, he is fit and well and still as witty as a bastard. Google Mick and see what he has achieved. Barnesy you bastard – you beauty! Queensland, Australia.